Joy in the Fish Market

What Ayesha Thought...

...and What I Feel.

Happiness exists, and I can say that because I just bid farewell to it. Usually, pessimists like me crib about there being no joy in and around them. Funnily, this sadist has a different story.

September 20^th, 2011, I was down and out in life. There was no love, no friendship, no family. A foreigner in a foreign land, I dragged my steps towards the Fresher’s Fare at the Uni. Who know back then that someday, ‘The Uni’ would become ‘My Uni’.  No I hadn’t a clue about what awaited me inside the longitudinal massive hall. Apart from, the fear of bursting a vein just trying to breathe in that Fish market.Stalls trying to sell everything and anything a student could think off, sales so attractive we wouldn’t think twice before splurging, pamphlets on every table like paper was made for the rich to make paper planes and fly.

 Posters, Flyers, Samples, Forms, I picked and filled up everything that came my way. I’d given up on my stubbornness and accepted defeat to the myth that making friends was a child’s play. So here I was In the battle field, fighting to grab as much attention and smiles, marking my category of people who could be my plausible friends tomorrow.

Passing smiles and brief ‘hello’s’ and ‘goodbyes’ I made my way leaving hundreds behind to where Joy stood. I saw happiness stand in front of me wearing a blue hoodie, playing fifa on his Iphone, trying to sweep his long untidy hair off his eyes. And suddenly, my jaws stopped hurting, smiling felt like an effortless task.  I’d found someone, a friend, a neighbor, a senior and my prospective happiness for future. As happy as I was to finally talk to someone in my own mother tongue, he seemed scandalized to have met a big mouthed, Queen of Babble like me. Having him confused as an Indian I approached him with the biggest sigh of relief, what felt weird was his reaction to be called Indian. It was both hilarious and offensive. He almost instantly corrected me, “I’m from Pakistan!” he said and my smile widened. A dream come true, a friend from across the Barbed Wire.

“We’re neighbors.” I introduced myself and we shook hands as if signing a peace treaty. Being the Noodle Brain that I’ve always been, I spoke way more than I should’ve. Nonetheless, I never regretted. If I was to be blamed of having the biggest mouth, he had the biggest head. His introduction seemed more like a package of achievements. He’d held quite a few important posts at the Uni and that’s what he said in place of his surname. Honestly, I’d never met someone so adorably pompous ever in my life. He could put Alexander the Great to shame while stating his conquests. Funnily, I could feel my eye-balls turn into the shape of little hearts; I was attracted at first sight. Why, I never figured out. How, I never bothered to find out. No he wasn’t the hottest man on earth, but yes he definitely was the cutest I’d ever met.

I spent to rest of my day thinking how ridiculously crazy could I act? Why was I thinking about this lousy boy with puppy eyes and long black locks falling all over his face? Was this love. No, couldn’t be, I’d only just met him. So what was it? I smiled and frowned as we texted each other all day, almost all night and then the next day again. And all this while, I contemplated who this Brown guy, with a name as sweet as a pastry could be to me.

I never found out until last night when he decided we were history. He was Joy, he still is Joy. Just not ‘My Joy’ anymore.

Happiness exists, even if for just a while. It slips into your life when you least expect it to, touches you, makes you smile. Ironically, sometimes it even makes you shed a few tears. But it makes sure it’s there like the sunshine after rainfall, while it’s with you. And then, one day when you’re least expecting it to leave, It escapes without a word, without a sound. Just like it came, silently, through the open gates of your hearts.

But if it’s gone, who says it won’t come back. Sweet bliss travels with a Multiple Journey Visa. It might come back some day, all you need is to wait for it, just like I will…