Thursday, 23 August 2012

Love Found, Love Lost!


What Ayesha Thought part 5

He broke it all- the trust, the love, the fantasia I was a part off.  I was right, I was just a nincompoop, held within the web of emotions and blinded by this dillusional world of “love”. There’s no such thing as an alpha male. At the end of the day, they’re all just selfish creatures walking on two legs with empty heads, brains in place of hearts and hearts in place of a crotch! And he’s no exception, perhaps an extention of the nasty snakey world of the XY Chromosome holders.
Omar Malik is a liar and theres nothing that gets me more infuriated than a lying snake. But just once- I’m not angry, I’m hurt.  I don’t understand why I was subjected to such trecheary? We were friends right? So why did he keep me in dark about her? I never told him I love him, I never said I wanted anything out of him,  all I ever expected was friendship, and clean friendship. Without cons and  frauds.  I don’t know who she is- his girlfriend, mistress or just a darned fling he had/has in past (like he suggests) or now (as I would like to say). It’s just that, I can never feel for him what I felt so far and that, I know is not his fault. That man who stabbed me a million times with a couple of mushy texts in his facebook inbox doesn’t even know I’m in love with him.  I know its not her fault either, I don’t even know what she looks like, but she seems so much in love with him. I feel like I’d tried eyed someone else’s man, someone else’s property. I feel like I’ve been upto something low, so illegal. He should’ve told me, if not let out his little secret then atleast given me a hint. I would’nt have stepped into this bog. I can’t go further, no, that would be so wrong., my heart wouldn’t allow me to do that. But, how do I step back now? Now, that I’ve overstepped my sanity and all that happens around me what he does.
I was perfect in my ways, so clear about my fundas. Love was but a  turbulence in a perfectly normal person’s perfectly normal life. The further away the better it was for me. What had I consumed to have changed me, ruined me? I was a fool, to have thought my ways were wrong. I was a fool to have thought love and all this shit was my cup of tea. I was a fool to have believed a foe can be anything even close to a friend. A fool to have thought our ways could ever be one…
But now the bubble’s bursted. I’m out of the mirage I’d made for myself. Love exists only in Mill’s and Boon’s and I’m no Prince Charming’s damsel in distress. Now on, there will be only bittersweet memories and regrets hidden deep within. Regrets of attraction, regrets of friendship, regrets of love.
Omar Khan, you changed me once and you’ve changed me again. For good, and for better and now for worse!


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